I borrowed a friend’s car this morning. She has one of those trackers in it that is supposed to locate her car if it’s ever stolen (but hopefully she’ll never have to deal with that). This little device syncs with her phone and tracks dozens of different metrics from speed to braking. It also means that you have to connect your phone to the car with bluetooth before you go anywhere.
I wear an old Fitbit when I go for a run. I got it maybe 7 years ago and it wears its age well, it’s only partially spotted super glue. It has one button and a simple screen. Not even a touch screen. It connects to my phone with bluetooth, too. After every run I connect it to my phone so my run can be logged by the Fitbit app. Then the Fitbit app talks to my health insurance and reassures them that I am, indeed, capable of leaving my bed.
I grow weary of all the things that connect to my phone. Connect everything. Monitor everything. Monitor your driving, your health, the contents of your fridge, how committed your friend is to learning Spanish (150 days in a row, so very). I know that these all claim to be improvements to the human experience, that these are supposed to make my life easier to manage and organise. But my phone dings and buzzes at me every 2 minutes and I answer every beck and call. That relationship distinctly reminds me of a master and his butler. You rang?
I don’t deny that some apps objectively make life easier. Period tracking apps are a great example. But I doubt that my blender or toothbrush or toilet needs to be smart. I would like my toilet to be connected to the sewage system only, thank you. I find that my 30 year old car is a never ending source of ideas. I get in and drive. I don’t plug it in, I don’t connect it. I just go. That’s what I long for some days. I think the next time my master beeps at me, I may just turn him off.