I miss waiting. I remember when I was five or six years old, waiting for Christmas morning was torture. I would wake up at 5AM, unable to control my excitement, and sneak into my parents’ still dark room, alert them that it was finally Christmas morning and we were due to drink hot chocolate and open presents. My parents, reasonable adults that they are, told me that 5AM was far too early to be awake and that I should go back to sleep for a while. I would slink back into my bed and close my eyes. I would try my best to fall asleep again, but it evaded me. I would lie and wait for as long as I could before I inevitably sought the company of cartoons.
All of that waiting for Christmas morning was frustrating as a kid, but it also gave me something that I only notice now that it’s missing. I was so excited, and the more I waited, the more that was tension built. Each new day that brought me closer to Christmas morning wound a spring inside of me that eventually exploded in smiles and giggles. Did you know that your brain releases dopamine when you anticipate a reward, not when you receive it?
With social media, prime shipping, Netflix, Spotify, I never wait for anything anymore. I never get the chance to let my excitement build. I don’t slowly inch closer to the day when I finally get what I’ve been waiting for. You may argue that it’s a part of growing up, but think back with me to the days before the internet (scary, isn’t it). Imagine for a moment the joy that sets a young man’s heart alight upon finally receiving a letter from a loved one. Christmas-Day-like joy isn’t just for kids.
That’s why I love film photography. I only get thirty six photos that I slowly work through whenever something or someone beautiful catches my eye. Once I’ve taken the week, or month even, to finish shooting my photographs I send them away to get developed. That takes another week. When I eventually look at the photos I’ve taken it’s just like opening those presents on Christmas morning. I’m happy that some things are faster and easier than they once were, like traveling the world, but I don’t really want everything in my life to be instant. After all, if I offered to buy you a cup of instant coffee or a cappuccino, what would you choose?