Schedules and inner turmoil.

Why I dropped off the face of the Earth.

Do you ever feel hopeless? Me too. It always happens at the most inconvenient times. My favourite is when everyone else in my life, the people I love so dearly, seem to have just pulled everything together and they are finally happy. Or fulfilled. Or challenged. That’s when my self pity gets really ugly. The worst thing is that my hopelessness steals all the joy I have for those people. My family. Isn’t that sad?

If you are an avid reader of Jeremy’s Journal, I thank you. I don’t know how else to communicate to you that I so deeply appreciate your readership. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will have noticed, I suspect, that I have not updated the Journal in some time, around 3 weeks. As it turns out, I am vulnerable (as we all are, I suspect) to bouts of hopelessness, and I am up to my knees in frustration.

Why? I wish I had a succinct and precise reason. Partially because it is difficult to sit at a desk every day to write something for you to read. Something worthy of your attention. I don’t want to waste your time. I want to stir and inspire you, but that’s tough to do day in and day out. It steals a little hope from me every time I check how many people read what I write, or how few, rather. I think it’s easy to justify giving up writing (which I considered in this moment of black, directionless dread) when only a handful of people read what I write. I won’t give up though. I believe that my words will touch at least one person, and as long as they do, I will continue to write.

I think I’ve forgotten how much I like this. Putting pen to paper, as it were. I think I’m quite good, too. I’ve missed it. That said - I have decided to make a change. For now, in an attempt to dissuade any further hopelessness and to ensure a sustainable future for Jeremy’s Journal, I am switching up the schedule. I will be posting Jeremy’s Journal once a week instead of every weekday. The day, time and any other details are still up in the air for the moment, but will hopefully be nailed down by the next post.

My intention is to continue to pour love into this little blog. I want to write and create and share and grow and inspire. I will see you in a week. Hope is on the horizon.