I would like to share a dream with you today. For as long as I can remember, I have had trouble going after one specific career. I remember when I was about 12 years old I read a manga, Maximum Ride, about genetically engineered teenagers with wings. The story hooked me, and I decided I wanted to be a geneticist. A little worrying considering the geneticists who experimented on the babies in that manga are definitely bad guys. That pattern repeated itself throughout school. I would latch onto an idea or show or book and then switch my career path to match. Engineer, animator, coder. You name it, I wanted to be it. There was only one thing I always wanted to be: a dad.
I was cooking dinner for my girlfriend earlier this week. While she sat at her desk in her room, studying and working, I was in her kitchen, prepping veggies. I stood at the counter, wearing corduroy trousers, white socks and slippers, peeling Brussels sprouts and listening to a murder mystery audiobook. I had a good laugh at myself. It felt a lot like a role reversal, like I was playing the part of the housewife, cooking away and listening to my stories, chatting with my girlfriends while hubby was in his office. I was only missing an apron and a glass of Chardonnay. The funny thing is, I absolutely loved it.
I know it’s a far cry from fatherhood, and I’m certainly not in a rush to get there, but it felt a little more within my grasp that evening. I loved running my girlfriend’s home for a brief moment; setting the table, washing the dishes. I dreamt of the schedules, recitals and family meals I might get wrapped up in (and more than likely overwhelmed by) as a father. It felt like I fit. Like I was really good at what I was doing. And let me tell you, I make a mean pot of couscous.
I don’t necessarily want to be a stay at home dad or ‘house husband’, to borrow my girlfriend’s words. The idea doesn’t scare me though. I think in my ideal world I continue to write or teach or uplift, but my fatherhood and the experience it brings me enriches my professional life. I like to believe that the skills I learn as a father will make me a better listener, leader and story teller. That’s the dream: to lead young people, empowering them in their worlds, then come home, pop my slippers on and whip up some of the best damn pasta you’ve ever tasted. Now to find that bottle of Chardonnay!