Edelweiß.
My confounding calendar.
Welcome to my journal! It echoes my thoughts and feelings as I journey through life. I hope you connect with what you read. If you enjoy this journal, please subscribe.
My August has been beyond busy. Not the bad kind of busy where I run around after my boss and friends and co-workers all day, able only to give one aspect of my life the attention it deserves, and then at the expense of all the others, for hours on end until I finally collapse into a pile of overworked nerves like Anne Hathaway’s character in Devil Wears Prada. Not that kind of busy. Manageable busy. First off, the bulk of my filled August schedule was due to my summer holiday, an opportunity for which I’m very grateful. I spent a weekend in Munich, four days in the Austrian Alps and a week in Bologna with my girlfriend. For a kid from Cape Town, that’s a pretty remarkable holiday, and the sights and smells astounded me. We’ve got mountains in South Africa, but they don’t come close to the majesty of the Alps. After our short hiking trip, my girlfriend and I resolved to explore a good deal more of the breathtaking mountain range that sits at our doorstep. While the trip included travelling between three countries, all of them are members of the EU, and the ‘international’ trips themselves were effortless.
The real hassle was the timing of our holiday. After quite a long time learning German, I am finally happy with my fluency, and I elected to write a test that, when passed, would give me a certificate proving my knowledge of the German language. Theoretically, this certificate could prove to be my golden ticket, and a competitive edge when it comes to job and visa applications. It just so happens that the best-fitting appointment was on the Monday after our two week summer holiday. Awful. So the textbooks and vocab notes came on the thirty-kilometre hike with us. Then, on the first afternoon in Bologna, I got an email from the German government telling me that I had an appointment to speak with them later that same week. My girlfriend helped me apply for this interview back in June, and it was a long shot at trying to renew my residence permit for another year, since my visa expires in mid-October, and without it, I would be politely asked to leave the country. Receiving an appointment was fabulous news. The problem was that they wanted to have a chat with me in Berlin while I was still meant to be in Bologna. To make it, I’d have to fly out a day early, leaving my girlfriend behind me. Which, after weighing up the alternatives, is what my girlfriend and I decided was the wisest decision. I skipped my last day in Italy to sit in a waiting room for an hour and a half. Quite miraculously, I got my visa on the spot. And the exam that I studied for during the holiday (much to my chagrin), which I wrote for about five hours on Monday, went really well. I should get my results sometime in the next week.
That means that this week, I have nothing to do. While the au pair kids are at school, I am free to do whatever I want. It’s the most peculiar feeling. I’ve been on forever. Before my exam, I pushed myself to work through a whole textbook, by myself, in preparation. I sat at my desk for hours every day to cover all the content in time. Before that, I was at a loss as to how to prepare for the exam after leaving language school. It was a mad scramble to find the right materials to study with, devise a study strategy, create an appointment for my exam. Before that, I attended language school for three hours a day, for months. I spent most of this week Monday writing the exam, but actually, I’ve spent the better part of my year in Berlin writing that exam. The same is true for my visa. I didn’t know what kind of visa I would get. The one I have now, in fact, was only accredited by the German government in June. Since my boots hit the ground in October last year, I’ve been theorising, hoping, planning, scheming, trying to get a visa. I considered and researched various options: studying further, getting a degree in a totally different field, completing a qualification at a trade school, applying for jobs. Even the decision to learn German to such a high fluency has a lot to do with visa law. After months of deliberation I landed on applying for jobs in the field I already have a degree in, and then there was pressure to get a job contract within certain deadlines in order to stay in the country legally. Of course, my au pair contract will be terminated in October, so I need a new job anyway (if I want to eat, that is), but the overwhelming, eye-watering pressure has subsided a skosh.
It means that for the first time in a long time, about a year and a half is my guess, I have room to breathe. To rest. And I have no idea how. My hands are fidgety for something to do. And yet, my mind yearns for the slowing pace that my newfound security brings me. I imagine that much of September will be filled with a job- and even apartment-search, but from a far less frantic place.
The cherry on top, is that my August isn’t finished yet. If you are reading this journal soon after its posting on Saturday, I am currently in the sky, flying back home to South Africa. It will be my first time back in ten and a half months. I am beyond excited. All I get, though, is one week in the motherland before I need to get right back into working as an au pair (and trying to secure my next gig). And I know that it’s been a long time since you’ve heard anything from me at all, but I’m afraid you won’t be getting a journal next week, I want to focus on spending my limited time with my family, not at my desk. I hope you understand.
By the way—this was my first time visiting Italy, and I think I might have fallen in love. I’ll be back Bologna! (Not a threat). If you enjoyed this journal, please send it to someone you love.
Awesome post! Congratulations on your visa, and for how well the German exam went!
Thank you so much!