Don't forget the area code!
Day 3 of reflecting on my 2022.
It’s really easy to make friends in school. I have a friend that I met when I was 10 years old. Our friendship has lasted 13 years and I have absolutely no clue how we actually became friends. I think kids just say, “do you want to be my friend?” And who says no to that? High school is tougher, of course. I think we can all agree that teenagers sort of suck. I say that having been one myself. University is easy again because loads of young adults want to meet new people, want to connect or need a ride home. And then you leave university and all of a sudden you have no clue how to meet people.
I left university last year, and for a few months I sat at home in the stagnant pool of connections I have. This is not to say that I do not love or appreciate the friends I have made throughout school and university, but simply that there were no new connections on my horizon. In fact, I found that as we all entered into the professional world, allegedly, that I lost touch with many people I once called friends. I lost touch with many more acquaintances of course, but that’s really neither here nor there.
It’s an interesting and cruel phenomenon that we only learn the full weight of what we have once we lose it. It’s much tougher to grab an ice cream with friends while you should be in class when you aren’t always in immediate contact. In my world, connecting, sharing, loving must be carefully scheduled, and rescheduled if you’re unlucky. I encourage you to be present, to take the time to be silly and serious and everything in between with your loved ones now. Not because you will lose the opportunity all together, but because circumstances change. Perhaps you’ll have less time, more responsibility, less money. I repeat myself because I want you to hear what I am saying. Please choose to prioritise your loved ones.
While the first half of my year saw no influx in my social circle, the second half radically changed my contact list. As I am sure you are sick of reading, I spent about 4 months abroad this year. I found myself pushed into a social situation similar to university. It’s remarkable how quickly people bond and find similarities when they share difficulties. I made many new friends simply through empathising with them. I found that though love and, maybe more importantly, listening, I easily connected with people from totally different backgrounds. The result is that I now consider myself a close friend to many varied and remarkable individuals. A Scottish filmmaker. A British drag queen and radio host. A South African wild man. Handfuls of kind, considerate, genuine people.
I also fell in love this year. Now, I intend to keep my private life just that, but I will share with you some limited details. Love is perhaps the best thing that has ever happened to me. I may sound like a fool, but I’d happily be one for her. I am taught more about my mind and my heart each day, as I learn the value of listening to another. This is the one connection that has radically changed not only my year, but my life. If you think that this all sounds too good to be true, I assure you it is and I am the luckiest man alive. Right, that’s all you get.
I realise that the first two posts of this week, reflecting on the year that is steadily coming to an end, have included some kind of personal lesson or takeaway. I’m not quite sure what today’s is. Actually, I think that’s a lie. I would love to give you some new and magical piece of advice that no one has ever conceived of before. No such luck I’m afraid. My suggestion to you and the lesson I learned are the same, and it is this: focus on today. The people in your life are here now. Don’t take that for granted. I have dozens of memories that I never would have made if I didn’t take a leap of spontaneity. Put your phone down, your emails will still be there later. Go tell your girlfriend you love her.