I overthink. Sometimes my mind gets stuck in these little whirlpools and I’ll just have the same thoughts over and over. It’s like I’m captaining a ship that can’t quite escape the current of my mind. Occasionally it feels like I’m Doctor Strange combing through fourteen million, six hundred and five futures and only one will succeed, but instead of facing the end of the world, I’m texting a friend.
As I’m sure you can tell, recently I’ve been viewing this pattern of thinking as destructive. At this particular time in my life it feels a lot like my thinking has control over me, instead of the other way around. But the ability to be self reflective, analytical, hyper aware of context and tone, all of these skills can also be valuable to me. When I wrangle my mind instead of falling victim to it I can be an incredible communicator, educator, leader, planner and a half decent poet.
I believe that the way I think, or overthink, shouldn’t be villainised. My thought patterns are so closely tied to my character that it becomes too easy to feel ashamed or guilty for being this way in the first place. And as I have said, the ways in which I think can be of great service to me when my ship is sailing the right direction.
I think, perhaps, what I should learn is how to weather the storm. I think there will always be times in my life where my mind may cloud over and oceans begin to whirlpool. It often happens when I feel like I have no control, when I feel powerless. But when the rain is pouring down on a dark and stormy night, and the waves threaten to capsise my ship, I will keep my eyes locked on the horizon. Clearer skies are sure to come.